For the majority of us in our adult life we have had experienced some sort of physical injury, illness or surgery. And it is not uncommon to be worried about what your sex life is going to look like or wonder if you are going to bust out of your stitches, rupture an organ, or pass out if you have an orgasm. These are real life concerns and if you haven’t had this experience read on because chances are that you will.
When I speak with people about sex after some medical issue they are beside themselves with worry because they can’t have sex the way they used to. It is seems like end of days for these people’s sex lives. But never fear your favourite sexologist is here (that’s me if you didn’t pick that up) to support you. So continue reading:
1). Talk to your doctor and ask them about what rigorous physical activity you are allowed to engage in. (usually they will pick up on it) if not be more direct.
2). If you have a partner (remember you can have a sex life without a partner) have a conversation with them focus on what you know and your feelings.
3). Write. Take time for yourself to write down and process what is going on for you.
4). Explore pleasure mapping – exploring and gathering information on what feels good for your body (with or without a partner). – More on this in an upcoming blog.
5). Complete your sex menu to find new and different ways to connect sexually. – Sex Menu
As our bodies change either with medical issues or just ageing it is important to look forward and create great sex rather than looking back and comparing sex to what it once was. It may appear that a door is closing but in my experience with the right support and mindset a whole new world (cue Aladdin music) that would not have been possible opens up and often can lead to more creative/better sex!
- Posted by Dr. Stephen de Wit
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