Do You Like Sex? Are You Getting Older?

Hey News Flash! You are getting older.  Regardless if you are 18 and reading this or 58 as each day passes you are aging.  Is that a bad thing when it comes to sex?  The resounding answer is maybe!  (I know a lot of clarity right?!).  As a sexologist I have the opportunity to speak with people from all walks of life and one of the common themes that continues to come up is people worrying about their sex life as they get older.

I don’t know about you but my sex life/my body/my orgasms look very different today then they did 20 years ago, 15 years ago, heck even 5 years ago.  You are probably in a similar situation.  Does that mean that your sex life should be anything less than spectacular?  The answer is NO!  Our attachment to the past often strangles the possibilities for the future.  What do I mean by that?  We allow ourselves to evolve in many ways throughout our lives however for many of us we think we were at our best, or even deserved the best at some time in our past.  When our bodies looked a certain way/performed a certain way/or even who our partner(s) was/were.

The key to sexual freedom in this area is giving yourself permission to evolve sexually.  To accept the fact that your sex life/body/partner is not what they once were AND you deserve and have a right to a spectacular sex life.

Some of the most common changes are as follows:

Ageing and Women’s Health

–as women approach menopause, their estrogen levels decrease, which may lead to vaginal dryness and slower sexual arousal. Emotional changes can increase feelings of stress, which also can change your interest in sex.

-while some women may enjoy sex more without worrying about pregnancy, naturally occurring changes in body shape and size may cause others to feel less sexually desirable.

Ageing and Men’s Health

–testosterone plays an important role in a man’s sexual experience. Testosterone levels vary greatly among men. In general, however, older men tend to have lower testosterone levels than do younger men

-as a man ages, the penis may take longer to become erect, and erections may not be as firm. It may take longer to achieve full arousal and to have orgasmic and ejaculatory experiences. Erectile challenges also become more common.

Below are some key takeaways to keep you having great sex regardless of your birth date:

• You are going to change.  Accept it and allow your sex to evolve.
• Practice good communication (with yourself and your partner(s) if you have them)
• Be open to exploring new erotic activities that interest you and that work for where you are at now
• Take time to rethink and recreate what sex looks like for you now
• Understand that different people will evolve at different rates and directions that is why communication is so important

Bottom line.  Love yourself for who you are right now.  Explore, experiment and communicate lots and sex will continue to be great (and it will look different).