There are a number of spectrums that you look to explore sexually. This can be from the spectrum of sexual self-expression and can be explored using my sex menu (http://drdewit.com/sex-menu/). It can also be looking at the types of relationships that you want to explore.
We normally look at sex in a very polarized way. On one side of the spectrum there are monogamous, exclusive, heterosexual, love relationships. Then on the other side of the spectrum there is basic, emotionless sex. However, in between these two extremes there are a variety of relationships that you can explore that entail different combinations of sex, emotion, trust, and even love. There is a whole spectrum of relationships that you have the ability to create and explore with your partner or partners!
The Sexual Freedom System allows people to re-imagine and recreate their sex lives in ways that enables and empowers them to explore their sexuality and create a variety of connections along this relationship spectrum. Remember: there is no right way or wrong way! There is only your way!
The first phase is understanding your sexuality as being a social construct. That’s where you’ll get to see the different standards, ideals, norms and expectations (S.I.N.E.) that society has dictated to you that have actually shaped who you are sexually. By pulling these apart and seeing which of these messages work for or against you, you will be to transform your sex life into something amazing and fulfilling
The second phase is understanding how these social constructions of sex have shaped and influenced your personal construction of sex. By understanding how you understand/view sex you will empower yourself to the point that you are then able to choose who you want to be sexually and what types of relationships you want to explore within that spectrum. You will choose which messages actually empower you. You will choose which messages actually empower you!
The third phase is moving into a partner construct, where you actually get to be your authentic sexual self and share with your partners or partners exactly who you are, why you have sex, the type of sex that you want, and the types of experiences and connections that you’re looking to have to explore! This is what you’re authentically about, not because you are trying to fit into some box of behaviours or ways of being that society says makes you normal or desirable.
For a lot of us, sex is tied to people, and that’s perfectly logical: more often than not sex happens when there’s another person present. But when you can start being conscious about what works for you and what doesn’t, and choosing and creating the sex and relationships that you with people, it will no longer be tied to your partner. When you start acting consciously and develop a level of sexual consciousness in your life, you actually get to see yourself as a person who is responsible for creating the sex life that you want and communicating with your partner or partners.
- Posted by Dr. Stephen de Wit
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