There are four key elements, each of which is crucial in reprogramming your sexual blueprint: Awareness, Impact, Separation, and Commitment.
1). Awareness is the first step. You can’t change something unless you know it exists.
2). Acknowledging the Impact is the second step. Unless you can identify how this is negatively impacting your life right now you will not be motivated to change it.
Once you have completed the first two steps above. You are well on your way and have done more work on understanding your sexual self than most people will do in a lifetime.
3). The next step is Separation in this step you can distinguish the thoughts and beliefs as external messages that you learned, and realize they are not actually you and no longer have to have an impact on you. It is a conceptual phenomenon but a powerful one to separate yourself from your past.
4). The final step is Commitment. This is where your ability to reclaim your power lies. Write down what you are committed to. What will you do differently? How will you think, act and be different in relationship to your sexual blueprint and your past conditioning? Review your commitment daily. Share your commitment with other people. And catch yourself when you are not keeping your commitment.
Let’s run through an example:
If you experienced an emotional incident when you were 10 years old and you were caught masturbating and scolded. What you may have made it mean is that you think masturbation is wrong and bad. The impact on you is that you are not aware of how you like to be pleased because you don’t understand that yourself and it is causing problems with a partner.
1). Becoming aware that that incident happened. Just remembering it is the first step.
2). Get present to the impact right now in your life. You may not know how you like to be pleased or how your body responds or you rely on partner(s) to bring/give you pleasure.
3). Separation looks like identifying what happened as a 10-year-old child is not who you are right now in your life. What happened, happened, and you are an adult and in control of your life. You developed a coping mechanism to deal with what happened to you when you were 10 and it does not support you now. It is time to change.
4). Commitment, this can be a written declaration, you can share it with your partner(s), friends and even family members if it will support you. The key here is whenever that old way of thinking/believing shows up you catch yourself and recall what you are committed to.
I invite you to take an area of your sexuality where you are blocked/shut down/resisting and go through this powerful exercise. Let me know how it goes – email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
- Posted by Dr. Stephen de Wit
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