I am sure you are familiar with the concept of financial wealth, but sexual wealth? What’s that? Well, you certainly can’t deposit it in the bank! When it comes to sex, it is important to know where you are starting from in order to get to where you want to go! And, establishing your sexual wealth quotient is a good metric to measure that!
First, let’s break down what it means to be sexually wealthy. The word “wealth” comes from the Old English word “weal” which means “well-being”, and “th” is a suffix meaning “condition”. Sexual wealth is the “condition of sexual well-being”. Similar to financial wealth, sexual wealth means different things to different people. As one person will define financial wealth as generating a hundred thousand dollars, to another person it might be a million.
As one person’s wealth may be cash rolled up in socks hidden in their underwear drawer, for another it may be stocks or bonds or real estate. Similarly, the personal definition of sexual wealth is yours to create. You may want more sex. You may want sex to represent a deep connection with someone, or an expression of love, or an expression of freedom and power. Sexual Wealth, to you, may represent having different types of sex with different people. Sexual Wealth is creating the type of sex you want with the partner/s you want, when you want it. However you decide to define Sexual Wealth for yourself is perfect. Remember when it comes to sex, there is no right way, there is no wrong way: there is just your way.
Just imagine having the kind of sex that lights you up, connects you to your partner and leaves you wanting more. You have the sex you want, with the partner you want, when you want it! How amazing would that be? One of the greatest joys that I have in life is seeing people transform and have the pleasure and quality of their relationships skyrocket. Once you are on this path, it will be one that you don’t want to get off. So buckle up and let’s start on the 3 Steps to establish your sexual wealth!
The 3 Factors (With, When, Type) :
The first step in creating a life of Sexual Wealth is figuring out where you are at right now. So, let’s take a few moments to figure out where you fall on the Sexual Wealth Spectrum today. The three questions we use to evaluate your sexual wealth are:
- Are you having sex with the person/people you want to have sex with?
- Are you having sex when you want it?
- Are you having the type of sex that you want?
Let’s take a closer look these questions. First, are you having sex with the person/people you want to have sex with? This question pretty straight forward, but let’s do a little work here anyway. The person you may want to have sex with could be your partner, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, your gardener, yourself, your co-worker, a class mate, the person sitting across from you right now. Some of the previously mentioned people may be more socially acceptable for you to be having sex with than others. But remember this is not about what is socially acceptable, this is about you. Throw caution to the wind and be honest with yourself.
Second, are you having sex when you want it? As we are all unique sexual beings, the shape our desire for sex takes will be different from our partner’s and will change and evolve at a different rate then our partner’s. You may want sex four times a day and your partner wants it four times a month or vice versa. You may be exhausted, had a fight with your partner, be stressed about work, and just not feel like having sex. You may be sick, you may have a headache (no, really, like really have a headache) and not feel like having sex, or you may want to have sex because it relieves the symptoms. You may want sex in the morning, on your coffee break, or in the middle of the night. You may not have a partner right now but you can be having sex with yourself (your hands can be wonderful lovers).
Third, are you having the type of sex that you want? This question is where things can get a little more complicated. The “type” can be broken down into what the act of sex is communicating; love, passion, anger, healing etc. It can also be seen as the actual physical acts that take place within a sexual interaction; hair pulling, kissing, spanking, cuddling, caressing. Or it can be the adjective that describes the act; long, rough, slow, hard, fast, quick. All three of these factors can be all interrelated and are all personal and unique to you. They can also vary with your mood, energy level and a host of other factors.
These three factors constitute your sexual wealth. If you were to give yourself a score from 1 – 10 (10 being the highest) for each of the three factors what would you give yourself? Then add each of those numbers up, divide that number by 30, multiply that number by 100 and you have your sexual wealth quotient.
With – 7
When – 4
Type – 6
(7+4+6) = 17
17/30 = 0.5666665
0.566666 x 100 = 57%
You can use your sexual wealth quotient at any time to evaluate where you are in your sex life. Try calculating it monthly and see what happens. A Peter Drucker once said “what gets measured gets done”. In business we would call it a key performance indicator. I know calculations and business jargon may not be the sexiest but if you are of the analytical mind it may just float your boat!
- Posted by Dr. Stephen de Wit
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